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MHKflyer52 Avatar
MHKflyer52 Martin Keller
Ventura, CA, USA   USA
In reply to # 1596437 by Spitnut64
I for 1 like Roman Numerals.


smoking smiley

Wounder how many folks get that statement......grinning smiley

cool smiley



Martin Keller
Ventura, CA.
1971 Triumph GT6 (A work always in progress.)

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byakk0 Avatar
byakk0 Hazen Wardle
Boise, ID, USA   USA
Funny. I've never heard that one BIV



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
~Hazen.

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Spitnut64 Avatar
Spitnut64 Gold Member John Mills
Milwaukee, WI, USA   USA
1970 Triumph Spitfire MkIII "Sarah Jane"
Hazen, that is an awesome comeback! smileys with beer



"Given enough time, an amateur can build anything.”

- Bob Hicks (as quoted in the 1997 "Mariner’s Book Of Days"winking smiley

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byakk0 Avatar
byakk0 Hazen Wardle
Boise, ID, USA   USA
I have my moments. winking smiley

In reply to # 1596810 by Spitnut64 Hazen, that is an awesome comeback! smileys with beer



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
~Hazen.

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Topaz75 Avatar
Topaz75 Ken Woolley
Cheshire, CT, USA   USA
1975 Triumph Spitfire 1500 "Little Star"
I thought it was GRVIII, II.

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richrd Avatar
richrd rich stone
omaha, USA   USA
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the
bank which was worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.



'64 spitfire
and a bunch of brit bikes

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Bruce Cunha Avatar
placerville, CA, USA   USA
1950 MG TD
1967 MG MGB GT
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?

• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:

• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there are drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, to



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2019-02-23 11:28 PM by Bruce Cunha.

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frandrum Avatar
frandrum Frank D
Warminster, PA, USA   USA
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble..

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.

The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news..

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.

I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde The word is big.

She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'

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MHKflyer52 Avatar
MHKflyer52 Martin Keller
Ventura, CA, USA   USA
Frank D,

That is a good one.......�.....



Martin Keller
Ventura, CA.
1971 Triumph GT6 (A work always in progress.)

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Doug in Vegas Avatar
Doug in Vegas Douglas D
Las Vegas, NV, USA   USA

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Doug in Vegas Avatar
Doug in Vegas Douglas D
Las Vegas, NV, USA   USA
In reply to # 939909 by Spitnut64 Your dog doesn’t mind it when you come home smelling like another dog (in fact, they seem to like it!). smoking smiley

Really?


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Spitnut64 Avatar
Spitnut64 Gold Member John Mills
Milwaukee, WI, USA   USA
1970 Triumph Spitfire MkIII "Sarah Jane"
Ha Ha!


So a woman goes to an artist to have her portrait painted.

She instructs the artist to depict her wearing a beautiful pearl necklace, large diamond earrings, a beautiful jewel encrusted broach, a Rolex watch with a diamond studded gold watchband, a pearl bracelet, and a ring with a single large diamond surrounded by numerous smaller gems.

The artist protests: "But Madam, you are not wearing any of those items."

The woman replies: "I know, but if I should die and my husband remarries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for all of that jewelry!



"Given enough time, an amateur can build anything.”

- Bob Hicks (as quoted in the 1997 "Mariner’s Book Of Days"winking smiley

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baloo Avatar
baloo s y
Louisville area, KY, USA   USA
A man walks into his village pharmacy.
"I need some poison to kill my wife".

The pharmacist takes a long look at the man.
"Sir, I can't do that for you".

The man is visibly shaken, slumps in front of the pharmacist, and pulls out a photo of his wife while mumbling "You, don't understand".

The pharmacist takes a long hard look at the man, then glances at the photo.
"Why didn't you tell me you had a prescription?"

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carChips Avatar
carChips Victor Harnish
Kelowna, BC, Canada   CAN
1933 MG Magnette
1973 Triumph Spitfire 1500 "Chip"
1989 GMC Sierra 1500 "Bush Truck"
I saw my neighbor talking to his dog, like the dog really understands him. When I told my cat this, he laughed and laughed.



'S all for now
Vic

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Spitnut64 Avatar
Spitnut64 Gold Member John Mills
Milwaukee, WI, USA   USA
1970 Triumph Spitfire MkIII "Sarah Jane"
OK this might be a repeat, ... oh well.

A minister is paying his bills when he notices a credit card bill for $1000.00; knowing that he didn't make any such purchase, he calls his wife in to find out what she spent $1000.00 on.

"Didn't I recently preach a sermon against extravagant spending?" asked the minister.

" I know Dear", said the wife; "but when I saw this absolutely beautiful dress I thought I just had to have it. It was then and there that the devil showed-up and said that I truly deserved to own an wear this beautiful dress".

At this the minister replied: "the devil you say!; didn't I include in my sermon how we're instructed to tell him to get behind us in times of temptation."

His wife replied: "Yes Dear you did, and at the time I did, and he did, but when he got behind me he said that the dress looked twice as fabulous from back there - after that I just had to buy it!"


-



"Given enough time, an amateur can build anything.”

- Bob Hicks (as quoted in the 1997 "Mariner’s Book Of Days"winking smiley

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