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docman Avatar
docman Bob Harris
Dearborn, Michigan, USA   USA
1972 Triumph GT6 MkIII "SOLD"
1983 Ford Mustang "Daddy's"
2007 Saab 95 Wagon "SOLD"
2013 Ford Focus "SOLD"    & more
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

"What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me, and my dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked, "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2016-12-29 06:45 PM by Skye.

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jdeatsch Avatar
jdeatsch Platinum Member Jim Deatsch
Penfield, Neu Yawk, USA   USA
1978 MG MGB "Orval Shiftright"
I actually laughed out loud.

Now THAT'S funny !

Falkon Avatar
Falkon Al Martin
Appleton, Wisconsin, USA   USA
Do we really want to open this door?

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jdeatsch Avatar
jdeatsch Platinum Member Jim Deatsch
Penfield, Neu Yawk, USA   USA
1978 MG MGB "Orval Shiftright"
So, the duck walks into the pharmacy and asks for a tube of Chapstick.

The pharmacist says: "will that be cash or charge" and the duck says:

..


..


..


"just put it on my bill"

rampant racing Avatar
rampant racing gary fraser
sarnia, ont., Canada   CAN
1969 Triumph Spitfire "King Henry V 8TH"
so I go into the gymnastics club and ask the teacher if he can teach me to do the splits. he asks me how flexible I am ? I tell I can't make Tuesdays!

jdeatsch Avatar
jdeatsch Platinum Member Jim Deatsch
Penfield, Neu Yawk, USA   USA
1978 MG MGB "Orval Shiftright"
Laughing at that one.

Good job Gary.

spitlist Avatar
spitlist Joe Curry
Sahuarita, Sahuarita, AZ, USA   USA
In reply to # 912959 by jdeatsch So, the duck walks into the pharmacy and asks for a tube of Chapstick.

The pharmacist says: "will that be cash or charge" and the duck says:

..


..


..


"just put it on my bill"

There is a whole you-tube series based on that duck. Starts out "Do you have any grapes?".

Joe

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jdeatsch Avatar
jdeatsch Platinum Member Jim Deatsch
Penfield, Neu Yawk, USA   USA
1978 MG MGB "Orval Shiftright"
Oh SURE Joe, now I have to go look.

spitlist Avatar
spitlist Joe Curry
Sahuarita, Sahuarita, AZ, USA   USA
In reply to # 913025 by jdeatsch Oh SURE Joe, now I have to go look.

You'll be glad you did! smiling smiley


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byakk0 Avatar
byakk0 Hazen Wardle
Boise, Idaho, USA   USA
In reply to # 913028 by spitlist
In reply to # 913025 by jdeatsch Oh SURE Joe, now I have to go look.

You'll be glad you did! smiling smiley


eye rolling smiley
My nieces and nephews can't get enough of those videos. There's like 3 or 4 of em....

So, these three guys walk into a bar.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You'd think one of them woulda ducked. grinning smiley



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~Hazen.

britsnspits Avatar
britsnspits Michael Stoliker
Bethlehem, PA, USA   USA
1976 Triumph Spitfire 1500 "The Phoenix"
1978 Triumph Spitfire 1500 "Lucky"
Did you hear the one about the hard of hearing Genie and the 12 inch pianist?

carvingjmj81 Avatar
carvingjmj81 Gold Member Jeff Jonson
Elko, Nevada, USA   USA
Okay here is a real life one:
We were camping at a nearby lake this summer. We were using a Dutch oven over the fire. My wife looks at me and says" can you turn the fire down?"
My daughter and i looked at each other and lost it.

spitlist Avatar
spitlist Joe Curry
Sahuarita, Sahuarita, AZ, USA   USA
In reply to # 913032 by britsnspits Did you hear the one about the hard of hearing Genie and the 12 inch pianist?

Speaking of the Pianist, Which member of the band drank the most beer?

byakk0 Avatar
byakk0 Hazen Wardle
Boise, Idaho, USA   USA
Something to do with the Pianist (pee-anist) I presume.drinking smiley



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
~Hazen.

rampant racing Avatar
rampant racing gary fraser
sarnia, ont., Canada   CAN
1969 Triumph Spitfire "King Henry V 8TH"
so this guy walks into a bar and sits down and orders a beer. the bartender sits the beer in front of him and before a drink can be had a 10" tall man runs down his arm and kicks over the beer and runs back up his arm and sits down. the bartender looks at the guy in amazement and the guy just orders another beer. and again the little man runs down his arm in a flash and kicks the beer over and runs back up his arm and sits down . the bartender says what the hell is the story here pal ? well the guy says, i found a magic bottle and the genie says i can only have one wish so i wished for a 10" pri@K and this is what he gave me!

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